Kim Lockhart is a successful dating coach for young professionals in LA. Though a natural, her early attempts at matchmaking were more sly, yet fruitless. “Years ago when I lived in the Bay Area, I would organize dinner parties, and try to set people up without them knowing it. I wanted it to seem natural. But then one or two key people would cancel, and then someone else would bring an unexpected guest, and my whole plan would fall apart. So I figured out that “secret” date coaching doesn’t wor k.” These days, Kim is unabashed in her enthusiasm to set singles up. Nowadays, it’s through coaching, classes, mixers and rockin’ big parties. “There are so many smart, fun, creative, and basically awesome single people in LA. But they’re not meeting each other. I want to change that!” With that mission in mind, Kim has spent the past few years studying the sexes through classes, workshops, research, focus groups -- and real life coaching experience. “When I see the change in someone who suddenly has confidence and enjoys meeting new people, it delights me. And after they’ve had a great date, I’m like a teenager who wants to know every last detail. When she’s not connecting couples, Kim can be found napping on the beach, cruising around on her yellow bike, or enjoying margaritas with her husband and friends.
Lucky for all TYR readers - Kim is sharing some awesome advice for the single ladies - write these down!!!
Why is it so hard to meet anyone here? Two reasons: Men have the misconception that all women in LA get hit on constantly, and so they don’t want to be “jerk number 9” who interrupts a woman when she’s hanging out with her friends. However, women also have the misconception that they appear approachable, even though they’re texting, talking on their phones and surrounded by a pack of girlfriends at the bar. No man wants to try to break through that.
So what’s a girl to do? Here are some tips.
1. Men need very clear signals that it’s okay for them to approach. When you see a guy that you like, smile at him for five seconds without breaking eye contact. I know that it will be feel like a very long time, but men need it to be that clear that - yup, you’re looking at him. If he’s available, he will be by your side in about a minute.
2. If you are chatting with a guy that you like and your girlfriend says that she’s ready to go, tell your guy, “It was really nice meeting you” and wait a beat to see if he asks for your number. So many women tell a guy that they have to go, and then dart out the door before the guy has a chance to ask for her number. And that’s an opportunity lost.
3. If a man gives you his business card, turn it over, write your number on the back, and hand it back to him. Encourage men to initiate the date.
4. Show appreciation for the little things. The bottom line is that men really want to make a woman happy. Appreciation is the fuel that keeps men working hard to please you. So speak up and let him know how much you liked your dinner, that you enjoyed the movie, that you have fun when you’re with him, etc. And the day after a date, send him an email or text saying that you had a great time. The more that he feels like he can please you, the more motivated he will be to keep doing it.
5. Have fun! Think of each date like a treasure hunt. You might find chemistry, you might learn something new, or you might just make20a new friend. If you make the effort to be a great date, both of you will benefit.